Meredith: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it’s happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.-
i know i've been quoting Grey's excessively, but that's because so much of the show's narrative relates to life, love, and loss- its difficult not being able to relate.
Have i ever shared how L and i got attached? most of you might already know this but im retelling this for a reason, a reason i will share in awhile. We met at club Centro after my As on the 27th of December. We danced, we talked, and i was enamoured by his sentimentalism, sensitivity, idealistic and romantic aura. We met again on the 29th at Chinablack wtih mutual college friends, and the attraction was strong. So we finally decided to meet outside of a club soon after, and by new year's eve we were attached. 4 days was all it took. Because i remember sitting by a black marble building where purple and blue lights shone and him telling me, "this feels so right" while holding me close. and i couldn't agree more. When we broke up, he left big shoes to fill, and since him, i haven't felt that romantic calm and certainty with anyone else, perhaps just one another person briefly. maybe.
People came and people went; i flirted, fancied, fell, and fought. But each time they came, it just wasn't all right- it was either an impending departure for a long long time that would make it rather unfeasible to embark on a relationship, or the uncertainty of a lingering feeling, or a passion borne from habit, or differences in lifestyle, or even age.
But i've met someone. I've met someone who makes me feel the same way L did. and that feeling is a rare find. I've met someone who's told me "this feels so right", and i couldn't agree more. Everything fades away when i'm with him, and the emotional chemistry is indescribable. This is the chance, the chance at Love that i've been waiting for for such a long time now. We've only just begun of course, and there are still issues that need resolution and closure before we can properly begin, officially. But there's so much potential and promise in this, i can't help but feel that same multitude of emotions again.
There is no fear in love, the bible says. in a perfect love, maybe. but i am only human and i fear because i've found someone so remarkably wonderful, who makes me feel so very happy and content, and i don't ever want to regret losing something so great again.
I once thought that the pinnacle of such joy comes by once and only once and that the memory of such happiness would mar any subsequent experience, but i was wrong. i was wrong when i least expected it, and this surprise has been more than pleasant.
-
And only because he doesn't like the conventional L word, here's another- i am so in
like with you.
