Gone.

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

-simon and garfunkel.

-

i'm moving, that is, if i even continue blogging.

so it's not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball.

Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
and She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well baby I've been here before
I’ve seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya?
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew is Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

-Jeff Buckley

and i thought i enjoyed watching tennis before.

because you're my federer (:

one of my favourite stories.

Voodoo Girl.

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has a beautiful set
of hypno-disk eyes,
the ones that she uses
to hypnotize guys.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

-Tim Burton.

a sorta fairytale.

Meredith: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it’s happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

-

i know i've been quoting Grey's excessively, but that's because so much of the show's narrative relates to life, love, and loss- its difficult not being able to relate.

Have i ever shared how L and i got attached? most of you might already know this but im retelling this for a reason, a reason i will share in awhile. We met at club Centro after my As on the 27th of December. We danced, we talked, and i was enamoured by his sentimentalism, sensitivity, idealistic and romantic aura. We met again on the 29th at Chinablack wtih mutual college friends, and the attraction was strong. So we finally decided to meet outside of a club soon after, and by new year's eve we were attached. 4 days was all it took. Because i remember sitting by a black marble building where purple and blue lights shone and him telling me, "this feels so right" while holding me close. and i couldn't agree more. When we broke up, he left big shoes to fill, and since him, i haven't felt that romantic calm and certainty with anyone else, perhaps just one another person briefly. maybe.

People came and people went; i flirted, fancied, fell, and fought. But each time they came, it just wasn't all right- it was either an impending departure for a long long time that would make it rather unfeasible to embark on a relationship, or the uncertainty of a lingering feeling, or a passion borne from habit, or differences in lifestyle, or even age.

But i've met someone. I've met someone who makes me feel the same way L did. and that feeling is a rare find. I've met someone who's told me "this feels so right", and i couldn't agree more. Everything fades away when i'm with him, and the emotional chemistry is indescribable. This is the chance, the chance at Love that i've been waiting for for such a long time now. We've only just begun of course, and there are still issues that need resolution and closure before we can properly begin, officially. But there's so much potential and promise in this, i can't help but feel that same multitude of emotions again.

There is no fear in love, the bible says. in a perfect love, maybe. but i am only human and i fear because i've found someone so remarkably wonderful, who makes me feel so very happy and content, and i don't ever want to regret losing something so great again.

I once thought that the pinnacle of such joy comes by once and only once and that the memory of such happiness would mar any subsequent experience, but i was wrong. i was wrong when i least expected it, and this surprise has been more than pleasant.

-

And only because he doesn't like the conventional L word, here's another- i am so in like with you.

Plans.

Finn: Liz, Liz was my wife. When she died... you do this thing where you stop making plans. Because you had plans but then there was a car crash and your plans disappeared so you just, I just try to get from sunup to sundown. That’s as far into the future as I can handle. And I've been fine with that, I have. But right now, looking at you, damn, I have all kinds of plans. Don't, don't freak out.

-Grey's Anatomy.

-

You scored as English/Journalism/Comm. You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, or Writing. It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. English/Journalism/Comm 100% Education/Counseling 100% Psychology/Sociology 94% French/German/Spanish 88% HR/BusinessManagement 88% Religion/Theology 81% Visual&PerformingArts 75% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 63% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 56% Nursing/AthleticTraining 44% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 38% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 31% Mathematics/Statistics 6% Physics/Engineering 0% WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

can't fight this feeling.

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winters night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that Im following you
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winters night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

-Air Supply

-

Because it made me think of you; because we're old school ;)